


In which the Jedi are awesome

by carryonmywaywardsonofabitch



Series: In which Palpatine gets screwed [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Jedi Friendly, Jedi being Jedi, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Order 66 Didn't Happen (Star Wars), Other, Palpatine Gets Rekt, Sassy Jedi, Sassy Obi-Wan Kenobi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29599470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carryonmywaywardsonofabitch/pseuds/carryonmywaywardsonofabitch
Summary: In which the Jedi destroy Palpatine's plans way faster than he wanted
Series: In which Palpatine gets screwed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177526
Comments: 105
Kudos: 362





	In which the Jedi are awesome

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Feat. Supreme Chancellor (AKA, the Sith Lord) VS The Negotiator (who's still a little salty about the war)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024866) by [Kelpie_Mist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelpie_Mist/pseuds/Kelpie_Mist). 



“And bring victory to the Republic!” Palptine roared as his words brought cheers and applause from his dinner guests, which included the entire Jedi Council, their padawans, their commanders/captains and his most trusted Senators and aides.

“Are you finished, Chancellor?”

_What?_

He looked towards the interruption of his speech and was met with Master Shaak Ti’s unimpressed stare.

“I beg your pardon, Master Jedi?” He sputtered out, hardly noticing the lapse in claps from the attendees. 

“I said, _are you finished Chancellor?_ ” 

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you are referring to, Master Jedi.”

“Really Shaak, now?” Came the response from Master Ti’s left, a Tholothian, Master Gallia, if he could recall.

“Yes, Adi, I’m doing this now. It’s frustrating the amount of lies he is able to spew from his wretched mouth. And even worse, I’m told that I can’t even stab him.” She said with a pointed look towards Plo Koon, who was actively avoiding her gaze.

Didn’t that get the guests talking.

“Stab me? Whatever for, Master? I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding.” The back of his neck was sweating bullets. They couldn’t have found out…

“Found out what, _Darth Sidious?_ That you’re a sith lord that has been orchestrating this entire war and hatching a plot against the Jedi by having the clones eliminate our entire order?” Obi-Wan Kenobi looked up from the data-pad that had held his attention the entire dinner. “Oh, sorry, did you not say that out loud? My bad, it seems your shields are terrible when you’re panicking.”

“I can assure you all that I am not a _sith lord.”_ He tried to put as much disgust behind the words as possible, but he knew it wouldn’t hold up. _Was he shaking?_ Because it felt like he was shaking. “I am not in control of the droid armies you fight. I am an old man, how could I have trained Count Dooku?”

“The very same Count Dooku that told me, _his grandpadawan,_ that a sith lord was hiding in the Senate and had immense power? That Dooku? Because to me, that was as obvious as walking around with a sign that read, _Darth Sidious is Sheev Palpatine.”_

Damn that Dooku.

“Do you know how easy it is to destroy a droid, Chancellor?”

“No I don't, Master Fisto.” How were they all so nonchalant about this?

“Two seconds, for one droid. I mean, we have lightsabers, we’re extremely skilled and we’re pretty much awesome. We haven’t fought an actual droid in this war for 2 years.”

_What?_

“We spend each mission partying in space until we wait a few days and then come back.” Ahsoka chimed in.

_What?_

His eyes swept the room until he saw what would be his shining grace.

“Commander Cody, execute order 66.”

Finally, some control of the situation.

“No.”

_What?!_

He was fully freaking out now, his chest was hurting in fright and his arms were tingling.

“Chancellor,” the Master of the Order decided to ask, “Do you know how many head scans a clone could do before we found something strange?”

“Or if we felt something in the force?” Master Koth added.

Anakin. He needed Anakin.

“My boy, would you please tell your esteemed Masters of my innocence?”

“Chancellor, no upstanding politician would ever ask to meet with a nine year old in private. Also, hello? Child of the force? You can’t deceive me, it’s literally impossible.”

“Ask again we will, Chancellor. Finished, are you?”

Oh no.

And that’s when The Chancellor of the Republic, Darth Sidious dropped to the floor and died from a heart attack.

Everyone stared in shock at the body lying useless before them.

”A nice stab through the stomach would’ve been a lot quicker,” Shaak muttered to Plo, who still refused to acknowledge her.


End file.
